Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
