YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
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