JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
