In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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