god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
