I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
