Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
