Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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