So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
