tell your sister to shave her snatch
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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