my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
