are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
