Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
