I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
