im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
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