4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
