he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
