like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
