Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Randomize
