Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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