That's intense
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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