Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
