I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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