i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
