tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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