she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
