to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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