a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Randomize
