so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
