I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
