3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
