im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
