Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
