Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
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