we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
