There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
