My nipple is on Facebook.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
