sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
