Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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