woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
