its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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