So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
They took my balls.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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