You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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