So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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