hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i already hear my dad disowning me
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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