White coat. Heels.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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