I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
