There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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