His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
