That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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