I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
