Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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