He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
She told me I should be a condom model.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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